wasted time

by the barefoot bandit

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    [ultimately, this is an album consisting of things i've written over the past couple years, documenting my thoughts on the one thing that hurts me most. interpret it as you please- it is what it is, it was what it was. i'm updating the album as i go along.]

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credits

released September 5, 2014

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Track Name: On: Missing You At Night pt.1 (1 of 11)
I surround myself with pillows at night because I still remember what it felt like to turn over and surround myself with you.
Track Name: On: Missing You At Night pt.1 (2-11)
hey, have i ever mentioned to you how much i miss your warmth at night?

i remember when you would say, "baby, can you please get me a drink?"

sometimes it's hard for me to fall asleep because i don't have the rhythmic beating of your heart to march to until i fall asleep.

some nights are harder to fall asleep than others because you're not here.

i will never sleep half as well as i did when i slept in your arms.

baby, come closer. i'm cold and i need your warmth. baby, where are you?

darling, i miss you. come back to me; i need you. can you hear me, dear?

oh honey, can't you see? I'm drowning in sadness. please come and save me.

it's nights like these where i can't seem to find a bad memory of you.

sleep doesn't come very easy for a girl who used to be in love.
Track Name: On: Being In Love With A Monster
you beat me and you bruised me but somehow i managed to still love you.

goddamnit, i loved you but you didn't deserve anything from me.

when love turned to hate, i couldn't move, and you took advantage of that.

i was addicted to loving you, especially when you hurt me.

you got in my head and you tore me to pieces from the inside out.

i granted your every wish, like the genie you never were for me.

i fell in love with you, but i don't think you even knew what love was.

you were the nightmare i couldn't wake up from.

you never woke me up.
Track Name: On: Missing You At Night pt.2
i want to be just fine without you, but sometimes it's hard to forget.

our dance went smoothly but it picked up speed and we forgot all the moves.

please get out of my dreams. i don't want to have to wake up without you.

i need to keep in mind that you're no longer here to say "i love you."

i grit my teeth at night just to keep myself from crying out your name.
please, tell me this gets easier.

god, i am so tired. i saw you in my dreams and i cried when i woke up.
Track Name: Heaven & Hellfire
I had hopes for us.
i wanted us to work
i loved you with all of my heart,
through thick and thin
through heaven and hellfire
baby, couldn't you see?
couldn't you see that i loved you
through every tear
and every bruise
and every time i kissed everything away?
i didn't mean to fall for you
i even tried to prevent it
goddamn it boy,
i tried to prevent it
but you said the three words first,
so i thought it'd be okay
it wasn't okay
it's not okay
i'm not okay
i wish you weren't okay
baby
come back to me
i miss you more than you could imagine
you were my heart and soul
honey, didn't you love me?
you always said you did.
please don't say that you had lied.

god, i miss you
come back to me
please stay
i still love you
im sorry
Track Name: March 8, 2014 (a capella)
I will not forget that even though you made me happy, you also made me miserable. you were not all fun and games. you were mean- very mean. you were a monster. you mentally and emotionally exhausted me while physically and verbally abusing me. you did not deserve me, nor i, you. i will never forget that even if i still love you, i should hate you even more, and that's exactly what i'm going to do.

i'm going to hate you.
Track Name: March 8, 2014
I will not forget that even though you made me happy, you also made me miserable. you were not all fun and games. you were mean- very mean. you were a monster. you mentally and emotionally exhausted me while physically and verbally abusing me. you did not deserve me, nor i, you. i will never forget that even if i still love you, i should hate you even more, and that's exactly what i'm going to do.

i'm going to hate you.